Hello to the Brokenhearted and the Heart-Breakers
I have had this post saved as a draft for several months and I think now feels like the right time to finish it. I feel like it is a difficult subject to talk about it, but after writing it, I know I might help someone. This may be something you can relate to or understand. I just hope at the end you realise, every end has a beginning. Coming up with a title for this post was difficult as I did want to capture some bit of positivity, as it is never the end. Lets keep an open mind and take into consideration, this is a happy post and not a sad one.
So let's focus on reality. We may have had our heart broken once or several times. Whether you are 16 or 36, it is unfortunately a part of life and it happens to a lot of, if not all of us. At the time, you feel like the world is crumbling around you, feeling like there is no way out of this misery. But, there always is. God, it sucks having to let go of someone, but as much as you think it's a bad thing. it might turn into a good thing. I'm writing this while listening to a song called "Somewhere to hide", a song that means a lot to me but so relatable in relation to breakups. We all try to find somewhere to hide, whether it is under your bed covers or in a corner somewhere. Although you think it might help, its sometimes doesn't and it makes you overthink and you doubt yourself. While some people are losing weight or getting fit recently, we are mentally losing weight as we need to get over a breakup or previous relationship. You might still be holding onto feelings for someone that might be out of you life. It is okay to be like this, its normal. You're not stupid. It's love.
So let's focus on reality. We may have had our heart broken once or several times. Whether you are 16 or 36, it is unfortunately a part of life and it happens to a lot of, if not all of us. At the time, you feel like the world is crumbling around you, feeling like there is no way out of this misery. But, there always is. God, it sucks having to let go of someone, but as much as you think it's a bad thing. it might turn into a good thing. I'm writing this while listening to a song called "Somewhere to hide", a song that means a lot to me but so relatable in relation to breakups. We all try to find somewhere to hide, whether it is under your bed covers or in a corner somewhere. Although you think it might help, its sometimes doesn't and it makes you overthink and you doubt yourself. While some people are losing weight or getting fit recently, we are mentally losing weight as we need to get over a breakup or previous relationship. You might still be holding onto feelings for someone that might be out of you life. It is okay to be like this, its normal. You're not stupid. It's love.
Whether you have been in one or many relationships, we all want to move on to the next chapters in our lives but we can't seem to let go. Or, you want to get over a crush that might or might not have been out of your reach. Or, you could actually be the heart-breaker, but it's not your fault if you might have fallen out of love with someone. Don't feel like you have to lead someone on for their sake, it hurts them more this way. Now, it is time to prepare you for this journey, when and if it comes. This might not make all the pain go away, but can try in some sort of way.
1. Acceptance
It's hard, but you have to just somehow come to turns that its over or didn't work out the way you wanted to. Right now, you're don't want to accept it, but you can't move on unless you do. You might just have to look at yourself in the mirror and talk to yourself so you're heart and mind can accept it. Initially, you'll feel like everything around you reminds of you that person and that you can't get away. It is easier said than done, but, you must try to not think about it. It's like Voldemort and Harry, you have to try and not let me in your thoughts. Whenever you feel like you can't bare it, just close your eyes, take a few deep breaths and try to think of things that make you happy whether it be your pet, food or a friend. Just think, and mentally push that person away. You need to go through it and not around it. Just try and accept it.
2. Grieve
People grieve in many ways. Some hide away, cry for endless amounts of nights or others might get with someone else. You might not like how others grieve, even the way your ex does, but you can't let that affect how you choose to grieve. Crying does help, you can let it all out by yourself or with loved ones around you. Again, it's up to you what you feel suits you best. It will naturally come to you, don't force yourself to grieve a certain way but just take it day by day and see where your mind takes you.
3. You're not alone
It might be hard to believe right now, but you are never on your own. Sometimes, yes, you should be on your own to just accept it and move on. But, other times you need to realise that you're not on your own. There are friends and family around you to help you, to be that shoulder to cry on and to help you find happiness again. But, it is up to you to let them in and be there. Once you do let them in, you should feel relieved and comfortable in yourself. Those people you chose to turn to, will love you and be there as long as you let them. Open your arms & accept the hug you deserve.
4. Tea & Chocolate
You may describe your heart as empty and you want it whole again. You've a hungry heart, that you can fill and Tea and Chocolate can help.You know a Tea can always help anything and can just change your mood instantly. Whether it be Lyons( Irish Tea brand), Green Tea or Vanilla Tea( I presume this exists), find what tickles your fancy and sit down and enjoy it. Yes, chocolate deserves to come under this post. Now, I don't mean turn into Elle Woods in Legally blonde and cry eating a box of chocolates, but eat it in reasonable moderation. Chocolate contains phenylethylamine, which can give you that same sort of feeling you get when you're happy or falling in love.
5. Goals & Dreams
Stay tuned for more chaos,1. Acceptance
It's hard, but you have to just somehow come to turns that its over or didn't work out the way you wanted to. Right now, you're don't want to accept it, but you can't move on unless you do. You might just have to look at yourself in the mirror and talk to yourself so you're heart and mind can accept it. Initially, you'll feel like everything around you reminds of you that person and that you can't get away. It is easier said than done, but, you must try to not think about it. It's like Voldemort and Harry, you have to try and not let me in your thoughts. Whenever you feel like you can't bare it, just close your eyes, take a few deep breaths and try to think of things that make you happy whether it be your pet, food or a friend. Just think, and mentally push that person away. You need to go through it and not around it. Just try and accept it.
2. Grieve
People grieve in many ways. Some hide away, cry for endless amounts of nights or others might get with someone else. You might not like how others grieve, even the way your ex does, but you can't let that affect how you choose to grieve. Crying does help, you can let it all out by yourself or with loved ones around you. Again, it's up to you what you feel suits you best. It will naturally come to you, don't force yourself to grieve a certain way but just take it day by day and see where your mind takes you.
3. You're not alone
It might be hard to believe right now, but you are never on your own. Sometimes, yes, you should be on your own to just accept it and move on. But, other times you need to realise that you're not on your own. There are friends and family around you to help you, to be that shoulder to cry on and to help you find happiness again. But, it is up to you to let them in and be there. Once you do let them in, you should feel relieved and comfortable in yourself. Those people you chose to turn to, will love you and be there as long as you let them. Open your arms & accept the hug you deserve.
4. Tea & Chocolate
You may describe your heart as empty and you want it whole again. You've a hungry heart, that you can fill and Tea and Chocolate can help.You know a Tea can always help anything and can just change your mood instantly. Whether it be Lyons( Irish Tea brand), Green Tea or Vanilla Tea( I presume this exists), find what tickles your fancy and sit down and enjoy it. Yes, chocolate deserves to come under this post. Now, I don't mean turn into Elle Woods in Legally blonde and cry eating a box of chocolates, but eat it in reasonable moderation. Chocolate contains phenylethylamine, which can give you that same sort of feeling you get when you're happy or falling in love.
5. Goals & Dreams
Grab a pen and a page, write down your goals in life. It's simple, but effective. Try and not focus on finding someone else. Give it time for someone great to come along, forcing yourself into situations to find love won't help. Simply writing things down or typing them on your phone, create a list of goals in life, any dreams you want to make reality or a list of things that are good in your life. Stick them on your wall or in your bathroom mirror and look at them everyday and make them happen. Something I always say, "You have the luxury to design you own life. Make the impossible happen". It is up to you to believe in yourself. Take one day at a time and start living a life you can be happy and proud about.
6. Make a Change
A piece of you will always hold that person close to your heart. It is up to you whether you want to keep it in your heart or store it in a file in your head. You are the only one to make that change. Whether it be after a few days, months, or even years, you can make that change yourself. Then, there might be a piece of you that feels like there is hope for you and that person again. This can be painful as the person might not feel the same and might want to move on with their lives. Whether you want to waste your time chasing them or chase them and believe it can be better, again that change it up to you. No one outside the two of you can understand what you both had, and that's ok. This is something you have to decide yourself. but as they say, "why chase someone who won't chase you?"
Well, that was deep! I hope this is something you did enjoy and that could help in some way. You can choose to use none, one or all the tips, again, its up to you to design how the deal with heartbreak. Remember, you deserve to be happy, don't let anyone bring you down.
7. Fresh Start
After making changes, why not do things that you rarely do to give yourself a fresh start. Take more relaxing long baths with loads of bubbles, it amazing how good it can make you feel. You can release endorphins by exercising in different ways. Find a way that suits you whether it be running, yoga or dancing in you room. One thing we can always rely on is music. Find music you can relate to, that can make you feel good, it can really help you escape to a happy place. They say if you have a tidy room, you have a tidy mind. Declutter, clean and make you room on point as much as you want to head to be. Even spend an afternoon changing around the layout or getting rid of clothes you don't wear. These are just simple things you can do, to give you life a fresh new start and get some stress and tension off your stress.
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