"Be happy... not because everything is good, but you CAN see the good in everything"
In recent light, there have been many bloggers who have spoken out about their anxiety and raised awareness on mental health here in Ireland. Mental Health is a topic that can be hard to discuss, especially online and I truly admire the bloggers that shared their stories. Two bloggers in particular who I follow shared their stories. You can read their posts here:
Niamh from Love Life wrote For Real.
Cloda from Orange Obviouslyy wrote Do you ever just not know?
They posted it the same week I had a particular discussion on my Snapchat. I wanted to open up a little bit about the fact that sometimes, it's ok not to be ok. You might see from my Instagram, I share inspiring and motivational quotes during the week. I've been getting a great amount of feedback in relation to these posts as well as my Snapchats. I never realised it would make such a difference to people and all your feedback and kind words are greatly appreciated it.
As you may seen, I worked on an exciting project with Frockadvisor and Tropical Popical. Together, they hosted a broadcasting series where women got to talk about a certain topic they were passionate about. This week my 'appisode' went live where I talked about Happiness. If you haven't seen it, you can watch it here.
For this post, I just want to discuss a little about my latest journey with happiness and positivity. I'm no expert in this area so you may or may not agree, but this is a topic I have a passion about. Life, can be difficult at times. But, is it really that bad? Our lives are supposed to be like a rollercoaster with its ups and downs. Life is there to challenge us and show us that nothing is perfect. I know you want to know the answer to the question in the blog title. The answer is no.
There is no recipe to happiness. There are simple tasks and things you can do to make yourself happy and change your outlook on life. You can do this with the assistance of people around you. But, it a choice you have to make, no one else can make it for you. Like, it isn't easy, to be happy the whole time, it is ok to have bad days. Don't beat yourself up about if you get into a mood and feel like you can't get out of it. Just let it happen.
Do you ever wake up hoping the ground will swallow you up or feel you're going to have a bad day? We have all been there, sweetie. I was there last week. I woke up and I was already in a bad mood. Even though I did everything in my power to just get over it, I couldn't. But, that's ok. I had to miss college that day because I was so frustrated that I wouldn't keep all the emotions in. So, I went home and did little things like make a cup of tea and had a bath to calm me down. Also, crying helps. It made me feel so much better. So, if you ever want to cry, just let it out. There is nothing worse than keeping it all bottled in.
I wasn't all about the "positive vibes". I have always been a pessimistic person and it took one break-up to change my outlook on life. The Heartbreak Series (more coming soon) allowed me to deal with my breakup and confidence issues I had. I found other things to keep my mind focused and happy. I've learned to just enjoy my life. I was sick of being miserable, endless days in bed and all those takeaways. I forced myself to wake up and tell myself "I want to be happy". So, I did! I woke up, and still wake up deciding everyday that I want to be happy. If a bad mood comes on, I just take it. It's something I can't push, and this doesn't make you weak at all. I surrounded myself with some pretty positive and inspiring people. They to, have helped make this process more enjoyable for me. Yes, I'm still getting over the break-up but I'm doing good, a lot better than I expected but I get to decide that I want to be happy everyday and I will do everything in my power to stay happy.
They say, if you stay positive, positive things will happen. Hello? I featured on Xpose and Shemazing!? Things like that don't happen to your average Tipperary girl. I've had pretty great things happen, all because I focused on being happy and put efforts into things that make me happy, like my blog. I'm so open to what's around the corner, both professionally and personally. So, bring it, Life!
Like I said, there is no set way or recipe to happiness. Everyone is so different that you can't turn around and say "Here is what I do to stay happy, it will work for you". That's just not possible! But, after doing some research (being the student that I am), I have compiled a list of things that might you to creating a more positive outlook on life.
1.Surround yourself with Happiness
If you are friends with people who are negative and pessimistic, you will act the same. It's important to surround yourself with people who care about you and vice versa. You want the people you spend time with most to have a positive influence on your life. For me, my time is limited to spend with friends and family during the week due to college and the blog. But, I will always make time for people who want to see me and who I care about. I want to make others happy as much as myself. I feed off other people's happiness. I suppose, I got so used to be around negative vibes for so long that I got comfortable and lazy. I didn't do anything it until I had to pick myself up one day because I hated being miserable.
If you see someone down, reach out. I purposely don't put up sad Instagram posts or Snapchat to look for sympathy. I want people to see and tell people that it IS ok not to be ok. My life is no by means perfect and I'm not happy all the time and I want to remain true and real with anyone who follows my blog and social media. In saying that, people did reach out and I was grateful for it. It is amazing what a text or call can do. But also, when I'm down, I will reach out. It takes a lot of courage to make that step too. There is no shame in reaching out and telling someone you're down. Never feel like you are bombarding on someone else's life either. I was really down about 2 weeks ago and I texted two of my best friends who I hadn't seen in a year (we have a strong friendship). I ended up meeting them a few hours I sent one text and we had such a great night (it was a late one-I'm wild!). But, every now and again I like to text people, just to remind them I'm there for them and hoping that would be the same for me.
2. Believe in yourself
If you have a negative attitude of yourself, people will think that of you. I've always been told that if you can't love yourself, who else will? It sounds ridiculous, but it's true. We all have flaws and insecurities that differ us from others. The question to ask yourself is "so what?". I couldn't care less about what others think of me because I'm me. People can have their own opinions of me on a personal level and that is ok, you can't please everyone. I'm very weird, so I expect that anyways! But, regardless of what mood you're in, what situation life is throwing at you, you have to try, at least try and believe in yourself and believe that you can do ANYTHING. If you believe in yourself and feel you can do anything, you will do anything. If you overthink a lot, like me, write things down and talk yourself into believing you are beautiful and you can do anything you put your mind to.
3. Smile
Smiling helps in every situation and it can go a long way. Smiling is infectious, so you have the power to spread smiles all around you. Smiling makes me feel good, I don't do it to prove anyone or or prove that "I'm fine". I do it, because I feel it. If I'm not feeling great, more than likely I will still try to smile. People say "fake it to you make it"- no! Don't fake a smile, people can spot that. Always be true to yourself and try to smile. Find something that makes you laugh instantly, treat yourself to a hot chocolate, just find something to make you smile. Never force it.
4.Goals and Dreams
I also featured this in Part One of my Heartbreak Series. To help keep you focused on what you want in life, write lists and plans of goals you want to achieve and dreams you want to make reality. When I'm feeling really optimistic, my dad would always say "keep dreaming, Jessica", obviously in a sarcastic tone. But, yes, I will dreaming and do you know what? I'll make it happen! I've so many things I want to achieve and to-do and nothing feels better than ticking them off the list! It also helps to have pretty stationary too.
5. Practice makes close to perfect
Yes, I wanted to say practice makes perfect. But, then I realised nothing is perfect. Like I said, there is no recipe to happiness. But, there are little things you can try to help make life that bit easier and less stressful. Some people like mediating, exercising, finding new hobbies etc. For me, I like to treat myself whether it be food, a glass of wine during the week or watching TV. 98% of my time during the week is being spent with people around me. It is so nice and refreshing to do things on your own, it keeps you sane. There was a point a few weeks ago that I noticed I was going to too many events. I felt I was keeping myself busy to avoid being alone. I didn't want to feel lonely or for people to think I was a loner. I did feel that pressure.
Also, coming up to this Christmas season, it has put more pressure on me to feel lonely as I'm not spending it with a partner this year. It's hard watching people in relationships spend Christmas together, doing "coupley" things. But, then again, I'm happy! Isn't that the important thing? Even though I feed off peoples happiness, for the first time in my life, I finally can see I don't need to be with someone to be happy. I never knew this feeling before and it feels quite good. If you're single, embrace. Never feel ashamed if all you're friends are in relationships and you're not. That just means right person hasn't come to you yet. You just never know what is around the corner.
Okay, that was one long post and I know it may be a lot to take in. But, I figure it's better to say how I feel here rather than in an hour long Snapchat Story! These are just some point I wanted to highlighted and hopefully I helped at least one of you reading. I do hope to write more about my positivity. If you're like me and are a negative nelly. just realise it is a working progress to being happy in your life. It isn't easy, trust me. But, I'm not the same girl I was 6 months ago and I made that decision myself. I'm proud of myself. Now, are you proud of yourself? Are you happy?
Stay tuned for more chaos,
JB
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