The Love Series: 5 Things I've learned from dating

"Be patient. The best things happen unexpectedly"

After being on the dating scene for two years, I now want to share my thoughts, advice and feedback from what I've learned. I was obviously never just dating for the sake of it, I obviously wanted to be meet new people and eventually (if I was lucky) to find a partner. Now that I have, I thought it would not only be a good time to share what I've learned but to also start off this Love Series.

1. Love yourself first

I think this was one of the hardest things I had to do. Self love is always one of those qualities as a human that you try to work on everyday whether you're aware of it or not. Before even thinking about starting to date after my break up 2 years ago, I had to make sure I was emotionally ready for what could or would happen. You don't know what can happen, so you have to be prepared. I wanted to make sure that I was in a somewhat good state of mind and felt confident. I didn't want the situation where I went on a date and went on a rant about an ex- nasty! So, I made sure I was 100% confident, or close enough to it. You'll just know when you're ready.



2. Just do it

I was one of those people and I know there is lots of us out there who won't make the first move. Girls, just do it. I know we all want to live in a world where "the boy" or whatever wants to make the first move. Just bite the bullet and start the conversation. If you stalk them on Instagram, DM them because they might not notice the constant liking of photos. If you match on Tinder, start that conversation- try using a GIF to start of the on a funny note. I always hated the waiting around of waiting for someone to talk to me that I just started every conversation that I could if I found the other person attractive. You know what they say "What doesn't kill you, makes you stronger".

3. Don't leave it too long

When it comes to online dating or talking to someone on a dating app, don't wait months to meet them. There is nothing worse than chatting to someone for months and feel you've a connection and then when you meet, it's a disappointment. It happened to me on many occasions and it was a shame from both sides. But, you move on and just start talking to someone new. Try chatting for a few weeks and try to schedule something soon. It's better to try and see the other person as soon as you can (when you're both comfortable, of course) because texting can get boring and it's just not the same as when you meet in person and really share that chemistry.



4. Be Optimistic but Realistic

When I'm talking to someone that I think I really like, I obviously think optimistic that it could work out. But, always just think real. Yes, I was one of those girls that would be talking to at least 3 or 4 guys at a time. I've no shame because there are lots of us guys and girls who do the same. From dating in Ireland, Dublin especially, people have known grown into this way where we fear if we lose someone we might have been talking to and don't have "back ups" if you want to call them. We would all like to believe the other person you're talking to is just you but sometimes this isn't the case. When you're single, you do have the freedom to do what you want and you shouldn't feel guilty unless you're dating some time and are looking to eventually go out with the person. After a while, you'll realise who you want to keep talking to and who you're more drawn too. But yes, think positive about who you're talking and also be realistic in keeping your options open.

5. Be honest

From day one from when the first message is sent, be totally honest- honesty is the best policy. I know we all want to impress each other and we're all worried about how we are perceived but be yourself and relax. Take things slow and don't be afraid to be honest about things. If you bring up your ex on a first date, so what? I have, but just try not to rant. There is no rules to dating or what you should or shouldn't talk about. Ask questions and be eager. It is beyond exciting getting to know someone new, getting to know their life, habits and even their flaws. If they ask questions, don't brush them off or avoid them, just be truthful. There is nothing worse than lying to someone or not being yourself with some, especially at the start. So, take a deep breath and think before you speak.

I hope my little lessons may have helped in some way. If there are any singletons ready, keep an eye on this space over the next few months as I talk more about date. If you're in a relationship, don't worry, I'll have posts for you too. Whether you're in a relationship or you're single, they're both exciting but it's what you make of it.

Happy Loving!

#TheLoveSeries

Stay tuned for more chaos,

JB X