The Love Series: New Relationship Anxiety

"Upon waking, let you first thought be: Thank you"

When you start going out with some, it's this really overwhelming and exciting experience. You might have been single for some amount of time and now you've found someone who you'd like to be in a relationship with and spend more time with. At first, you're very excited about this new adventure you'll embark on together, creating new memories together, getting that "butterfly in your stomach" feeling and learning new things. However, sometimes, for some people, it may not be all that happy, sometimes you can feel scared. For me, after a few weeks, I thought I was such a horrible person for feeling down sometimes. I thought I was weird and stupid for feeling this way, until I researched online. I looked online to see if I was losing mind and its "relationships anxiety" is actually a thing.

Stop self doubt

When in a new relationship, it's hard at the start to completely open up to someone. You're never expected to open up completely at the start, but, it should be slowly and at a pace you're happy with. It's hard to not think that anything you might say or do affect your relationship. You feel like your partner is watching you and might judge you in anyway. We can always be hard on yourself but you need to just be yourself. You and your partner are in a relationship because you both like each other, eventually hope to love each other no matter what flaws you might think you have.

Focus on the now

For me, I was so overwhelmed at being in a relationship again. The last time I was in a relationship I thought I was going to marry that person and it ended up being such a sad relationship and horrible breakup. So, once I even said the word "relationship", I used to get a shiver down my spine because I kept thinking it was going to end badly and that they might leave me. This is always a thought I'm going to have, so I just need to control it and not to think that it might end. I need to focus on the now and just enjoy every single minute. I shouldn't think that it might end, because we can't predict the future and the more negative I think, the worse it gets.
 

Communicate

If you're feeling down, talk to your partner. This is something that took me a while to do, even just to open up to them in general. I never spoke about my relationship anxiety, basically because I was scared and didn't think they would understand. Any type of feeling is always hard to explain whether you're happy or angry or depressed- no one can ever experience the exact same feeling you experience. But, talking does make it better when you're not feeling great. Just be honest and open with them.

Trust

Trust is one of things that we all look for in a relationship and it's so important to feel that you can trust the other person. If you've ever been in a relationship where someone has betrayed your trust, it's always then hard to trust someone again. When you're in a new relationship, you feel scared that something might happen. But, when you get older, you'll learn that you need to leave your past relationships behind and trust your new partner when you start going out with them and try not to think it might happen again.

Affectionate 

Call it clingy or whatever, but don't be afraid to be affectionate. I am a very affectionate person when it comes to relationships or even my friends and this is because it calms me. If it's a hug, kiss or even leaning on someone's shoulder, it makes me feel safe. A feeling of affection off someone can just make you feel at ease. So, don't be afraid to cuddle or kiss them passionately and calm that heartbeat.

If you've ever experienced any of these feelings, just realise you're not alone.  Just take a deep breath and focus on being happy. As time goes on, hopefully you should feel happy when you overcome these nerves and anxiety.

Stay tuned for more chaos, 

 JB X