"I'm not getting old, I'm getting better"
Hello everyone. First of all, wow! It's been over 2 months since my last blog post. It is so weird even typing something that isn't college related. As most, if not all, of you know, I have been working on my dissertation/thesis for the past 6 months. For those of you who don't know what that is, it was a 10,000 essay that goes towards my degree. I handed it into my college yesterday and it was such an overwhelming experience. It still hasn't sunk in but I'm so happy to have it out of the way. Now, I can focus on the next 2 months of college!
So, today is my 23rd Birthday, so I think this was the perfect first post back after my dissertation. I know, I hand in my dissertation one day and the next day it's my birthday- double celebrations for me! It's safe to say, so much went on in the last year for me. It had it's ups and downs, but as I'm now another year older (still waiting for the wisdom), I'm ready to begin a new chapter.
1. It's ok not to be ok.
I think I say this to myself every day. Some days I could wake up in the worst humour and see the worst in everything and that bugs me. But, as much as I try to be more positive and think optimistic, I've realised that it's ok to have bad days. It's not expected for me or anyone to be happy all the day. Everyone is going through something, regardless of how glamorous it might look on Instagram. If you're having a bad day, just let it happen. Remember, if you're down, the only way is up after it.
2. Reach out if you need to.
I always like to believe I'm a strong girl, so independent and that I don't need anything. You know those people who say "I'll be there", yeah, I'm that girl. Sometimes people say it to me, but I know the ones who mean it. Its been an emotional few months and I've had some low points. But, just when I thought I hit rock bottom, I'd ring a friend. I used to think of it as a sign of weakness, you know, telling someone about my problems and that I needed help. But, I've realised that its a strength. By reaching out, I'm acknowledging the problem and letting it out if it be by ranting or having a cry. We're only human right?
3. Be Selfish
This can be a good or bad quality in someone. But for me in the blogging industry, I've learned to be more selfish. We can all play Mr. Nice Guy. But, in order to get what you want in life, you have to be selfish. Of course, its important to think of others, but really, it's your life and you should live it how you want to live. If you want something, why are you sitting here reading this post? Go get it! I know there is people out there, kind of like the old me, who just wants to please everyone and care for anyone else. But, in this world, caring about yourself should come first.
4. The heart will heal and grow again
So, it's kind of obvious from The Heartbreak Series that I went through a breakup last year. It was one of the lowest parts of 2015. But since then, I'm a new me( I know, so cliche right?) But, I've changed many things in my life because of, so I'm kind of glad it did happen. I remember the time it happened, just like it was yesterday. I couldn't of thought I could of hit rock bottom further. I hated the sleepless nights, worrying about what was ex was getting up to and constantly being upset. But, I made a change, that I wanted to be happy. I chose not to be miserable. I let myself grieve for a few weeks, but then I realised they weren't coming back and it was just me, myself and I. I've learned that my shrivelled up heart is starting to feel whole again. I've realised I've a fricking great group of friends and family around me that I'm enjoying my life. I'm only young, I've still plenty time to find the love of my life to act all psycho and paranoid with!
5. Thinking positive works
Would I have made it to London Fashion Week thinking negative? No. Would I have made it onto the television thinking negative? No. Seriously, I could go on. I'm a negative and pessimistic person. But, I'm on the road to becoming a more "Positive Paula" because I want to be happy and I want to be optimistic. Even when I think I'm having "the worst day ever", I've just learned to laugh it off. I know believe, that if you're not laughing, you're crying. This is something I've learned in the past few months and laughing sounds like way more fun.
6. Love is in the air
Eww, not actual romance love now. I'm talking about friends and family. Holy god, I never realised how lucky I was that I've a great bunch of followers like you that follow my chaos daily. My following has grown a lot since last year and hopefully, when I put more time and effort into my blog, that it will grow. Also my friends, I don't know what I'd do without them. I've made so many friends and grew closer with others this past year. You're all amazeballs! Then my family, as always, they have to keep up with me, they're stuck with me. But, they've been incredible like always.
There you have it! Just a bit of what I learned in the past year. Now, I'm looking forward to new beginnings, fresh starts and more wine!
Until next time,
Stay tuned for more chaos,
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